There is Blood

Last Friday my heart was heavy due to all the recent homicides, and I was stirred to write this poem.

This goes out to Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, the five Dallas cops, Christina Grimmie, those massacred in Orlando, Trayvon Martin, and many more whose deaths shake me to the core.

“There is Blood”

-Here lies another brother, gone all too soon.

-There’s blood on the ground. Sorrow and anger swell within me; I’m bound to be consumed.

-I’m not sure how to process injustice. My thoughts wander to pending doom.

-Will justice come for murderers? Who will hear the cries of the oppressed?

-Each new day brings further hurt and I’m clueless, I confess.

-If there’s a God in heaven, surely He would act.

-But then I sober up and take a step back.

-There is blood on my hands.

-How did this get here? I never took a gay life, black life, or a cop life, yet I wash and wash and the red won’t come off.

-Take my word. I’m innocent of it all.

-Unless there really is a God in heaven who created me for His worship…

-Then my denial to give Him my all would leave me with a need to be acquitted.

-Then the blood isn’t just on my hands; it’s stained in my skin.

-Who, then, could free me? Oh, don’t bring justice yet! For I stand condemned.

-And herein lies the glorious grace of the Creator: there is blood at the foot of the Cross.

-The justice we deserve, paid for by God at a deadly cost.

-The Son of God hung, wearing our sin as His clothes,

-Then risen from the grave, conquering His foes.

-Now He will dress those who believe in His righteous robes.

-So to those who cry for injustice to cease,

-Know that God will end it and He will judge all for their deeds.

-Yet he is patient and waiting now for the sake of all who don’t yet see

-That none of us are innocent – not George Zimmerman, not racist cops, not you, and definitely not me –

-But Jesus can save and redeem.

-I have only one thing that keeps me going in times like these:
-The hope of the Day that Jesus reigns as King.

Singleness and the Kingdom of God

*All verse references are listed at the bottom of the page.

Introduction

I was talking to a friend recently who was lamenting the fact that the last few times he has asked girls out, they’ve said no. This negative sentiment is exacerbated by the fact that though he desires a marriage that looks the way God designed it to, there are many who don’t value this yet find that “special someone.” He told me, “I see these other people get married, and I feel like I’m just getting left in the dust.” I too have wrestled with thoughts like these, yet when I look in Scripture “getting left in the dust” is far from the picture of singleness I see.

I will make myself clear in saying that all throughout Scripture marriage is spoken of highly. Among other things, it is the only relationship where two actually become “one flesh,” and is also the only relationship that demonstrates Christ’s love for His church (see also Proverbs 18:22 and Psalm 127:3-5)! A lowly view of marriage, however, is not a huge issue I see in the church, so I do not feel the need to say more about that. I write this with the hope that the readers, whether single or married, would gain a deeper understanding of the value the Bible places on singleness. My wish is that we would view it not as a second-class existence but a blessing to be enjoyed by God, that in some ways is even a preferred existence for the sake of the Kingdom.

Jesus Is Enough

How can the Christian expect to get through life joyfully without a spouse? Because Jesus is enough. A few points about singleness will be made in the blog, but this is by far the most important. He brings abundant life (John 10:10), He gives the every-satisfying living water (John 4:10-13), and in His presence there is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11).

An Urgent Mission, A Transient Life, An Eternal Kingdom

I read how God was rapidly growing the early church and ask, “What was different? Why don’t I see God moving like that now?” Surely there is a multitude of reasons, but one is that they understood the urgency of the mission of God. They pondered the sheer number of souls yet to be won for Christ and declared, “We must go and preach.” Yet, as I look around I see finding a spouse prioritized higher than making disciples, though we’re never even commanded to do the former in Scripture! There is nothing that pulls me towards a life of singleness more than the reality of the vast darkness in the world pressing upon me. It might seem silly, but consider this – how many people could you share the gospel with in the time it would take to raise a child? Food for thought!

Now, to actually look marriage in the face and say, “I will say no to this for the sake of the kingdom of heaven,” (cf. Matthew 19:12) seems like a huge sacrifice, until one takes an eternal mindset. For a moment, ruminate on the fact that we are here for a blink, and then will spend the next billion years and forevermore in glory with Jesus and no spouse (Matthew 22:30). John Piper says of Dietrich Bonhoeffer spending his life single, “He never married, skipping the shadow on the way to the reality.” Yes! One day we will be at the marriage supper of the Lamb and our longings for a spouse will be fulfilled (cf. Revelation 19:6-9, 21:1-8). The Bridegroom and the Bride, one at last. No, if a life singleness is your lot the sacrifice is small compared to the glory that is to come!

God’s Gift of a Helper

When God creates Adam and Eve in Genesis 1, He gives them a mission. “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth” (Genesis 1:28). Genesis 2 gives a more in depth look at the creation of man and woman, wherein God reveals some of the forethought in the creation of Eve. “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18). Thus He created Eve, to help Adam in all that He would call him to (among other reasons). Together, they are able to fulfill their aforementioned mission.

And when God re-created us, He gave us a mission. “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation… All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.” Our mission now is to make disciples of Jesus Christ. Yet again, in light of this mission, he saw it unfit for us to be alone and provided a helper, though of a different kind. The former mission was primarily a physical mission, demanding a physical helper. This mission is primarily a spiritual mission, demanding a spiritual helper.

His name is the Holy Spirit, called by Jesus the Helper (John 14:26, emphasis added), and without Him we are hopeless in the mission God has called us to. He convicts people of their need for a Savior (John 16:8), and then empowers us to proclaim that there is a Savior, and His name is Jesus (Acts 1:8)!

God giving us in the Holy Spirit exactly what we need to accomplish what He’s called us to is not just convenient, it is significant. I submit to you that in this parallel, among others, God is calling us to view singleness on an entirely different plane than it was before Christ, where the expectation was marriage and not having offspring was almost considered a curse (Psalm 109:13, Deuteronomy 25:5-6). In the coming of Christ a new era dawned, where now Paul can even call his life of celibacy a gift (1 Corinthians 7:7)!

New Age, New Offspring

The Book of Isaiah elaborates further on the implications of the new era introduced by the Messiah. Speaking of the Messiah, Isaiah says, “By oppression and judgment he was taken away; and as for his generation, who considered that he was cut off out of the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people?” (53:8). He was unjustly punished and was “cut off” by not having any descendants. As mentioned above, this was seen as an unfavorable fate! Yet just a couple verses later, Isaiah makes a profound statement, “When his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring” (53:10). In the next chapter, Isaiah continues in this same vein:

“Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married,” says the Lord. “Enlarge the place of your tent, and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes. For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left, and your offspring will possess the nations and will people the desolate cities” (Isaiah 54:1-3).

He is communicating that when the Messiah comes, He will introduce a new kind of offspring. Paul provides further exposition on these verses in Galatians, saying, “Now you, brothers… are children of promise… born according to the Spirit” (4:28-29). In Christ there is a new offspring – a spiritual offspring! And though in Christ we are all brothers (Romans 8:29), we do see instances of a type of “spiritual parenthood” in the New Testament, like that of Paul to the Corinthian church (1 Corinthians 4:15), Paul to Timothy (1 Timothy 1:2, Philippians 2:22), and John to his audience (1 John 2:1), to name a few. As there is a picture of marriage in the spiritual helper given to us for our spiritual mission, so we too have a picture of parenthood in the spiritual offspring borne of this mission. Make “spiritual descendants” of all nations!

The point I am making is that while the desire for children isn’t fully fulfilled in the mission of God, He has ordained a way for the childless to experience many of the joys of parenthood. Again the kingdom that Jesus is ushering in demands that we see singleness in a different light!

Conclusion

A desire for a spouse is a real and good thing – I too desire this! Yet perhaps God will not give me this, and if such is my lot I take comfort that though relationship with Jesus does not fulfill the desire for a spouse, He does satisfy it. We must see that if God does not give a spouse, He has not withheld in scorn. He has given us everything we need to know Him and to do His will. He has satisfied our desire for a spouse, and then called us to something even higher: the advancement of His kingdom, the warfare of seeing darkness pushed back, the hastening of the reign of Christ on earth. Married or not, that is worth your lifetime.

Verses Referenced

Proverbs 18:22

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

Psalm 127:3-5

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

John 10:10

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

John 4:10-13

Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” The woman said to him, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.” Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again.”

Psalm 16:11

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Matthew 19:12

For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.

Matthew 22:30

For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.

Revelation 19:6-9

Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out, “Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.”

Revelation 21:1-8

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”

John 14:26

 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.

John 16:8

And when he comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment.

Acts 1:8

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.

Psalm 109:13

May his posterity be cut off; may his name be blotted out in the second generation!

Deuteronomy 25:5-6

If brothers dwell together, and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the dead man shall not be married outside the family to a stranger. Her husband's brother shall go in to her and take her as his wife and perform the duty of a husband's brother to her. And the first son whom she bears shall succeed to the name of his dead brother, that his name may not be blotted out of Israel.

1 Corinthians 7:7

I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

Romans 8:29

For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.

1 Corinthians 4:15

I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.

1 Timothy 1:2

Timothy, my true child in the faith…

Philippians 2:22

As a son with a father [Timothy] has served with me in the gospel.

1 John 2:1
My little children…

40 Days Getting Fed in the Harvest

*All verse references are listed at the bottom of the page.

Introduction

In John 4 Jesus proclaims the gospel to the woman at the well, and while the people in her village whom she told about Jesus were walking towards him, Jesus tells his disciples, who are puzzled that he does not want the food they brought him, that his food is to do the will of him who sent him and to accomplish his work. Jesus got fed making disciples? Obviously Jesus ate food (accusations of him being a glutton and drunkard in Matthew 11 come to mind), but he was driving at something.

Last May, I heard a missionary say that one of the primary places we should be getting spiritually fed is in the harvest (anywhere laborers go to see those far from God brought near, as described in Matthew 9:36-38). By God’s grace I spend about an hour per day praying and reading the Bible, but maybe only a couple hours a week laboring to proclaim the gospel and make disciples of the lost. I asked myself then, “What would it look like if I made a habit of proclaiming the gospel to someone every day?” The thought of committing to that scared me, but during the next few months the thought lingered in my mind. At the beginning of September I was thinking about the fact that though my heart breaks for those who do not know Jesus, I was not telling a lot of people about him. Jesus was serious about proclamation of the gospel of the kingdom (Luke 4:43, Luke 9:60, Mark 16:15), so I should be too.

Rick Warren brings to light the God’s repeated use of a 40-day time period to in Scripture to transform people in his book “The Purpose Driven Life”:

• Noah’s life was transformed by 40 days of rain.
• Moses was transformed by 40 days on Mount Sinai.
• The spies were transformed by 40 days in the Promised Land.
• David was transformed by Goliath’s 40-day challenge.
• Elijah was transformed when God gave him 40 days of strength from a single meal.
• The entire city of Nineveh was transformed when God gave the people 40 days to change.
• Jesus was empowered by 40 days in the wilderness.
• The disciples were transformed by 40 days with Jesus after his resurrection.

In light of all this, I resolved to proclaim the gospel to at least one person every day for 40 days straight. By the grace of God and only by the grace of God, I did do this at least once a day, and God definitely changed me through it. The purpose of this blog is to give glory to God by sharing the things he taught me, the ways he changed me, and by sharing a few stories of what I saw God do.

Lesson One:

The Yoke of Jesus Brings Life; The Yoke of Religion Brings Death

There is a biblical precedent for the Spirit pressing obedience/denial of self upon us as he conforms us to Jesus, but it can get dangerous when you put a yoke on yourself to do something that the Spirit is not necessarily pressing on you to do. There were a few times during the 40 days when I normally would not have proclaimed the gospel on account of the limited time I had to take care of my responsibilities for the day, but I begrudgingly did it. In these instances, I actually felt a weight off my shoulders after “checking off my goal” of proclaiming the gospel. Talk about religion! I have no regrets about doing this for a season, but I now see the breeding ground for death yoking yourself to your own rules can produce. Yes, Jesus calls us to deny the law of our flesh, but we should do so without enslaving ourselves to a law that God did not write. It could lead to far more harm than good.

Lesson Two:

The Word of God Does Not Return Void

Isaiah 55:10-11

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”

Even as I say this, I think of the conversation I had with Tim when I was feeling this religious yoke one me. On the last day of the 40, I met him and during the course of our 20-something minute conversation, I was able to share my story with him about how God saved me and what it was that I came to believe (the gospel). He began to tear up. Pointing to the liquid on his cheek he told me, “You see this? You did this. Man, you’re young. My kids go to church...” He was overwhelmed about the fact that I guy my age had been radically rescued by Jesus, even to the point of proclaiming his name. The Word of God has power!

Lesson Three:

God Controls the Fruit, But We Can Facilitate its Growth

For all the seeds that were sown and people I talked to, only a few expressed interest in continuing to talk about Jesus/read the Bible in the future. While Jesus in Luke 8 defines the different soils by the fruit borne “with patience”, and thus perhaps every person I talked to is now a believer (he could do it!), it is slightly discouraging. Even as I think about the advancement of the kingdom from a strategic perspective, there are ways I could have gone about it that could certainly have facilitated growth. Rather than saying, “I want to proclaim the gospel today”, what if I said, “I want to proclaim the gospel today in a way that makes a person feel loved in cared for, and would make follow-up easy if they were interested.” Maybe that means going door-to-door in my neighborhood giving people cookies or offering to pray for them, and proclaiming the gospel after demonstrating more vividly that I care for them. Something to this end could prove more fruitful than a seemingly random conversation at a bus stop or on campus for reasons including but not limited to: (1) Jesus instructing his disciples in Luke 9:2 and Luke 10:9 to “heal and proclaim the Kingdom of God”, the heartbeat of which is demonstrating then declaring the gospel, (2) there is one less step between the first interaction and being able to read the Bible in their homes (where life decisions are made much more frequently than randomly in public), and (3) the simply fact that God has shown a pattern all throughout Scripture of saving households (Noah, Rahab, the Philippian Jailer, Lydia, and more).

Lesson Four:

Two by Two

Jesus is a master strategist. I am becoming more and more convinced that with all the focus we put on doing what Jesus said, we do not put nearly enough on doing what Jesus did. His methods were inspired, as well as his words. So when Jesus sends the disciples out two by two, that was not on accident. That being said, aside from the fact that it models the missiological strategy of Jesus and Paul, why should we go two by two

1. Boldness – You feel a lot less crazy talking about surrendering your life to a man whom you claim rose from the dead after being in the grave for three days when the guy next to you is nodding their head at what you are saying.
2. Receptivity – The person you are talking to will (probably) see you as less crazy if the guy standings next to you is nodding their head at what you are saying.
3. Accountability– It is always good to have someone with you to assure that you are not speaking heresy!
4. Discipleship – Why go alone when you can go with someone and model obedience to Jesus for them? (See Matthew 28:19-20.)
5. Support – Rejection sucks. It sucks a little less when there is someone by your side who just got shot down too (see Philippians 1:27-30).

I saw all of these play out in different ways during these 40 days, but the one that manifested itself most pungently was the last one. I went out into my neighborhood alone and got into a conversation with a lady named Libby who, frustrated, told me that it was impossible to find peace on this earth. She has searched her whole life for peace and has not found it. After getting to share my story with her and proclaim the gospel I told her, “Libby, I believe that the peace you are looking for can be found in Jesus. I believe he can give that to you.” She looked at me and told me, “That’s cognitive rape.” I left shortly after. Never had I been more discouraged from proclaiming the good news of Jesus, and never had I more seriously doubted my ability to spend the rest of my life making disciples. At that moment I felt the need for a brother in Christ or a wife by my side on a whole new level.

Yet fortunately, the story does not end there. I ran into Libby a few days later and she told me, “I believe in God now because of you.” WHAT!?. We talked more and, though there is a lot there under the surface and I cannot say with certainly that she truly has made Jesus the Lord of her life, God did something through that conversation taking her from being vehemently opposed to my message to saying she believes in God now because of it. Praise the Lord.

Lesson Five:

Lift Up Your Eyes

John 4:35

Do you not say, ‘There are yet four months, then comes the harvest’? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest.

Making a goal to proclaim the gospel causes you to always be looking for opportunities to do so. I call it “kingdom eyes”. It is incessantly asking God, “Is there a way you want to further your kingdom that I can be a part of in this moment?” When I was walking like this, lo and behold, opportunities presented themselves to tell people about Jesus and God glorified himself through them! One of my favorite stories demonstrating this was when I met a guy named Deon at a gas station. I walked in asking God, "Is there anyone here I should talk to?" I saw this guy packing some stuff in the corner and he looked so void of joy. I walked over and asked him if there was any way I could pray for him. He said yes and told me a bit about his situation. After praying for him I began to ask him about his story and how he got to where he was. I then shared with him my story about how God has changed me and got to proclaim the gospel! He told me as I was leaving, "I feel like you're Gabriel or something." "Uhhh, what?" I responded. "I feel like God sent you here to talk to me. I was about to get into some bad stuff." Wow... I was not expecting that. Praise God!

Yet as incredible as this was, ever since the formal “40 days” ended I have seen multiple opportunities pass me by because I was not walking with this mindset. The fields are white for harvest, and God invites us to be apart of it! What a glorious calling. Lord, lift up my eyes to see the harvest, for the glory of you name!

Conclusion

Honestly, I was hoping that after these 40 days I would be at some new level of love for Jesus and henceforth be unable to stop telling people about him. While I wouldn’t say the changes I saw in myself were that extreme, they were still significant. God grew me in my knowledge of him, my love for him, and my obedience to him.

The mindset I took these forty days is a small click away from where I want to be the rest of my days on earth. I do not want to enslave myself to the proclamation of the gospel, but I want to mimic Jeremiah’s cry. “If I say, ‘I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name,’ there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot” (Jeremiah 20:9). I want to keep in step with the Spirit of God, constantly looking for opportunities to bring glory to Jesus through proclaiming his name in a way that best facilitates a positive response, all in order that his kingdom might be furthered and that we may hasten the day of his return.

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Pray with me.

Abba, Father,

May your kingdom come to this earth. May your will be done on earth and in my life as it is in heaven. Make me desperately in need of you, and then satisfy me with your love. Spirit, empower me to speak boldly of Jesus crucified and resurrected. Would you lay on me a burden to declare to others what someone declared to me before I first believed! All for the glory of your name.

I pray this in faith and in the name of your victorious son Jesus.

Amen.

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Verses Referenced

Matthew 9:36-38

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”

Luke 4:43

“I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns as well; for I was sent for this purpose.”

Luke 9:60

And Jesus said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”

Mark 16:15

And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.”

Luke 9:2

He sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal.

Luke 10:9

“Heal the sick in it and say to them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near to you.’”

Matthew 28:19-20

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Philippians 1:27-28

Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, and not frightened in anything by your opponents.

Grace, and Why it is Important to Understand

Note: I wrote this in June and it was posted on pureHOPE's website (purehope.net), the ministry I was working for this summer. I have decided to post it now here.

If you have attended church for any period of time, you have probably heard the concept of grace talked about and sung about, but more likely than not, you have never heard it explained with any depth.

Imagine you are in a courtroom. You have been indicted for a crime and are prepared to spend 20 years in prison serving out your sentence for, after all, that would be justice, and maintaining justice is the purpose of the legal system. But suppose an innocent man were to walk into the room and offer to take the penalty for your crime upon himself, free of charge. That would be grace. Grace is unmerited favor that one shows to another. It’s what God demonstrated on the cross, as depicted in Romans 5:8. “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Although we were spiritually dead and deserving of eternal separation from God because of our sin, God lavished us in grace by taking this penalty upon himself.

This is a beautiful truth, an understanding of which should strike awe and reverence, but does grasping the concept of grace matter beyond that? Certainly. When you look at Scripture, you actually see that the effect of not understanding this concept is polarizing. Let me explain.

A failure to understand grace can be drastic on two ends, depending on which boat you are in.  If you are caught in sin, it will lead to shame. If you are walking in holiness, it will lead to pride.

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Romans 5:20-21

Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

His grace is greater than your sin. The message of the gospel is that we have all messed up, but Jesus knew all your sins before you even committed them and still decided to give His life up for you. If you have trusted in Jesus for your salvation, you are a child of the one true King. Your Father desires intimacy with you. Refuse to believe the lie that He feels disdain towards you because of your sin. Be freed from shame.

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1 Corinthians 15:10

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.

If you are walking in the light and in holiness, praise Him. Remember where you were when He saved you, and praise Him for where you are now. “The ground is level at the foot of the cross.” We all come to Him dirty, so whatever cleanliness you wear is only His righteous garments covering you. A failure to understand that whatever likeness we bear to Him is a result of His grace will ultimately result in pride and self-worship, which stands in direct contrast to the worship of God in spirit and truth that He desires (see John 4:23-24).

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Meditate on this truth. Think about it often. Press deeper into the character of God and pray that He would give you a deeper understanding of your need for Him in all seasons of life.

Revelation 4:11

Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.”

Suggested Readings

Romans 3:10-18

Ezekiel 37:1-10
Ephesians 1:3-10

New Job at The Austin Stone Community Church

I graduated from Texas A&M a little over a month ago, and this September I will begin a yearlong residency at the Austin Stone, a church that started in Austin, Texas about 15 years ago. The road that got me here was a long one, but full of joy. For more information on how I got here, what my hopes for this job are, and how you can partner with me, click the "Where I Am Now: Austin Stone Institute" tab on the right side under "Pages", or click the link below. Thanks!

Where I Am Now: Austin Stone Institute

The Porn Struggle: An Inductive Study on the Christian’s Battle Versus Sin

Verses marked with a “ * “ can be found at the end of the blog.

Intro

God’s first command to humans occurs in Genesis 1:28 – “Be fruitful and multiply.” Sex is one of the most blessed gifts that God has given to us, yet it has been grotesquely twisted in so many ways. Why? One of the biggest reasons is that no one talks about it. We put a 10 year old in a car and say, “Go!” with no further instruction and are surprised when the kid hurts himself and others. As a result of our society’s instructional lapse people are left to figure out how to handle their sexuality on their own and of course, given how broken we are, it often gets completely distorted. I wrote this blog because I used to be a slave to pornography, one of the most potent distortions of sex that exists, and I want to elevate the name of God through the redemption he has brought me and encourage all my brothers and sisters in Christ by sharing what God has taught me through this about man’s struggle with pornography and also how that applies to our battle against sin in general.

Struggling vs. Practicing Defined

I had my first exposure to pornography in 4^th grade and for the next six years Ipracticed the sin. Jesus saved me at the end of my sophomore year of high school and for the next three years this sin was something I struggled with. Before getting saved I would sin and if I cared at all it was only because I knew it would upset the people that cared about me. After getting saved I would sin and, because I now had a relationship with God, my sin would grieve me. I’d want to repent and turn back to my Father (godly grief leads to repentance – 2 Corinthians 7:10). It was a struggle.

This begs the question, “Can I be a Christian and practice the sin of pornography (or any other sin, for that matter)?” No. You cannot. 1 John 3:9 says, ““No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God.” Can you commit the sin frequently and struggle with it deeply? YES. YES. YES. You will sin if you are following Jesus (1 John 1:8-10*), but if you have the Holy Spirit dwelling inside of you (all Christians do – John 14:16-17*) you will feel conviction about your sin and desire to repent and return to God. If you claim to be a Christian but practice sin unrepentantly, I beg you to ask if you’ve truly been saved.

For the three years that I struggled with the sin I struggled hard. At times I tried to leave but I always found myself back in front of the computer screen, giving me the feeling that this would be something that I would wrestle with for the rest of my life. But right before my sophomore year of college started, that all changed (more detail on this later in the blog). I boast in the grace and power of Jesus that it has been over two and a half years since I last indulged in the sin of pornography.

The Foundation: Know Christ

Before we go any further, I want to say this. If you are not a Christian, this post will be of no use to you. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that if “anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. The old has passed away, behold, the new has come.” If you don’t know Christ you are a slave to sin (John 8:34*). No human effort can break these chains. I implore you to consider the truth of the good news of Jesus Christ.

You are a broken sinner, deserving of eternal separation from God because of your sin because he is holy. God became a man by sending his only Son in the flesh to live a perfect life and die on the cross to take the penalty for your sins. He died the death that you deserved! But it doesn’t end there – then he rose from the grave signifying that he had defeated death, and now those who believe in him and accept his death as payment for their sins have victory over death (eternal life in heaven) and will be adopted into his family and be able to serve him here on earth.  

If you’re reading this and realized that you’ve never believed this but want to, please tell me or someone else you know who is following Jesus. We would love to talk to you about it. Through Christ is there freedom from sin and I want you to know him. If you have believed this, praise God! I hope this post will bless you and encourage you in your walk with Jesus.

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For the rest of this post I want to break down biblically and experientially three things that I have learned that are absolutely necessary for you to have any hope at finding freedom from any sin that so greatly entangles you.

**Disclaimer - To be a Christian is to have a relationship with God. Please don’t look at this as a religious formula to take away the sin in your life. My desire is that these steps will guide you into deeper intimacy with him and help equip you in your walk.

Step One

The first thing is understanding and holding on to the implications that Jesus’ sinless life, death, and his resurrection have in regards to the warfare we engage in daily as Christians against sin.   

Hebrews 4:15-16

¹⁵ For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. ¹⁶ Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Romans 6:5-7

⁵ For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. ⁶ We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. ⁷ For one who has died has been set free from sin.

These two passages, the former communicating the implications of Jesus’ sinless life and the latter doing likewise for his death and resurrection, give us strong theological grounds to have hope for victory in our battle against sin.

The passage from Hebrews 4 shows us that Jesus was indeed tempted greatly while on earth. Even the night before he was crucified he faced the temptation to not lay his life down for the sins of the world (see Matthew 26:36-46), but out of submission to the will of the Father he did so. Praise God. Some paint the picture that Jesus walked around with a holy bubble that sin couldn’t penetrate, which is false. Jesus wasn’t sinless because he was our Savior; he was our Savior because he was sinless.

The Romans 6 passage shows us that if Jesus wasn’t killed and then raised from the dead physically, then our “old self” can’t be killed and we can’t be raised spiritually to “walk in newness of life” (Romans 6:4). Christianity is not a religion of moral improvement so our ultimate hope is not that by following Jesus we would just sin less frequently but that as we walk with him he cleanses us from all our sins (1 John 1:7*). He has broken your chains and enabled you to walk out of your jail cell and be free (Galatians 5:1*). You must understand this.

Step Two

The second is that you must find your joy in Christ and Christ alone.

God makes this truth evident to us in his word in Psalm 51, which David wrote after he committed adultery with Bathsheba (please read Psalm 51 here - http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2051&version=ESV). How many times does David mention sexual sin? Zero. Why? Because David understood a fundamental truth that you too must grasp – adultery isn’t the problem, it’s a symptom of it. The problem is the fact that we choose to find joy in ourselves and in our desires before God. In one of the most monumental verses in the Bible (vs. 12) David pleads, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.” He essentially says, “Allow me to experience the joy of knowing you and give me the ability and the will to serve you, because that’s the problem I have. My committing adultery with Bathsheba was a result of the fact that I don’t find my joy in you. If I had not tried to find my joy in her I simply would’ve found it in someone or something else not named ‘I AM.’” The key to leaving your sin is to desire God and find your joy in him above all else. There’s an old quote that says, “How do you dislodge something from the heart that the heart finds so beautiful? You replace it with something more beautiful.”

Step Three

The third necessity is that you make war against your sin. I list this last for a reason: you can commit all your energy to abstaining from sin but if you don’t believe that God is able and aren’t striving to find your joy in him alone, it is all for naught.

I said earlier that my deep struggle with pornography changed right before my sophomore year of college. To be more specific, it was at a retreat I went on at the beginning of August 2011. I was talking with a friend and asked him what God had been teaching him lately. He told me, “God doesn’t care about our earthy accomplishments here. He doesn’t care how much money we make or what kind of car we have. He cares about our relationship with him and how that relationship manifests itself in our relationship with others.” This broke me.

See, if ever there was a sin that ran more rampant through my life than pornography addiction it was video game addiction. I have spent countless hours laboring away on my Xbox, trying to find fulfillment and joy in something created. What God said to me through this was, “Jack, I don’t care what level you are in Call of Duty. I don’t care how good you are at FIFA. When you see me on judgment day that will not be the question I ask you. I will ask, ‘1) What did you do with the gifts I gave you and 2) how did you treat the people I put in your life?’ (see Matthew 25:14-30 and Matthew 25:31-46, respectively). I realized that I wanted to be able to tell him, “I strived to live my life for your glory by your grace. I made my utmost goal to glorify you and to love the people around me well.” And then I would hear from my Creator, “Well done, good and faithful servant (Matthew 25:23).” I came home from the retreat and sold all my video games, signifying that from that day on I wanted to put God first in my life - that I wanted to find my joy in him and him alone. It should come as no surprise that soon after making that decision my desire to look at porn began fading away.

Do you understand what I’m getting at here? The problem in my life was not porn. It was not even video games. For you, the problem isn’t your abuse of alcohol. The problem isn’t your love of money. The problem isn’t your desire for the praise of man. The problem is sin, the same problem that David had. Our fallen nature as humans leads us to naturally desire that which God hates not only more than what God loves, but also more than God himself. To get to the point where you desire God more than sin or to maintain that desire if you’re already there will require all out war that is fueled by the power of the Holy Spirit through repentant faith in Jesus Christ.

Making War in Scripture

While I have shared with you how making war with my sin has pruned me well, I also want to encourage you with some Scripture that speaks of the importance of this fight. Some peoples’ solution to sin is to pray for deliverance from the sin but then go on doing whatever they want throughout the day and think that they will just magically start hating their sin. I want to show you exactly how Scripture contradicts this mindset. Praying is absolutely necessary (as I will speak of later), but you must, by the grace of God, labor if you desire to see any real change in your life.

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First set of verses: There is a war

Romans 7:22-23 – ²² For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, ²³ but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.

James 4:1 - What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 

Revelation 12:17

Then the dragon became furious with the woman and went off to make war on the rest of her offspring, on those who keep the commandments of God and hold to the testimony of Jesus. 

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Second set of verses: We must fight in the war

Romans 6:12-14 – ¹² Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. ¹³ Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.  ¹⁴ For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.

1 Timothy 6:12 - Fight the good fight of the faith. 

Galatians 5:1 - For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

Romans 8:13 - For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

The Christian life was never meant to be a passive one. Do not present your members to sin. Fight the good fight. Stand firm. Put to death the deeds of the body. Make war.

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Making War in Practice

Now that I have shown you the fruit of one strategic move that I made in battle and presented scriptures that support why making war is necessary biblically, I want to expound on what this looks like practically on a day-to-day basis. When I speak of making war I mean actively doing things that will stir your affections for God and dwindle your affections for sin and eliminating activities that dwindle your affections for God and stir your affections for sin. Only by making war will you be able to maintain a greater desire for God than for sin. I see this incredibly clearly in my own story. I stepped on the battlefield the day I sold my Xbox. That was the day I said, “I’m ready to fight”, but that was merely the start. Because I had such a deep-seated love for gaming, the step that I took was very powerful. However, had I decided that one strategic advancement to be enough I would not be writing this blog. Shortly after, I tasted freedom from those desires but that freedom would have been temporary had I not began making war daily.

Here are five explicit ways I made/make war on a regular basis.

1) Praying daily

Prayer is how we speak to the Creator and its importance cannot be understated! Developing a prayer life is crucial to deepening intimacy with God. I wake up in the morning and before I talk to anyone, check my phone, etc., I spend time talking to God. I praise him for who he is, thank him for his blessings, confess my sins to him and ask for forgiveness, intercede on behalf of others, and pray for my heart and other areas of my life.

2) Reading the Bible daily

Oh, that those who claim to follow Jesus would give a hoot about his revelation of himself! Why don’t you obey him? Because you don’t love him (John 14:15*). Why don’t you love him? Because you know so little about him. The Almighty and Living God has revealed himself to man through the Bible yet his words sit on our bedside table and gather dust while we grow in conformity to the rest of the world. Making a daily practice of reading the Bible is absolutely crucial for anyone who wants to remain set apart from the world for the glory of God.

Whenever a brother confesses to me that he has sinned by looking at pornography recently, the first question I ask him is, “Have you been spending much time reading, studying, and meditating on the Word?” The vast majority of the time the answer is no. Perhaps they were in a good habit, but as their time spent with the Lord began to decrease, their desire for sin began to increase. The quote, “This book will keep you from sin, or sin will keep you from this book,” comes to mind (referring to the Bible).

3) Intentionally memorizing scripture

I could write an entire blog post on this section alone. Chuck Swindoll wrote, “I know of no other single practice in the Christian life more rewarding, practically speaking, than memorizing Scripture. . . No other single exercise pays greater spiritual dividends! Your prayer life will be strengthened. Your witnessing will be sharper and much more effective. Your attitudes and outlook will begin to change. Your mind will become alert and observant. Your confidence and assurance will be enhanced. Your faith will be solidified.”

In this video, John Piper gives six reasons why we should memorize scripture. It’s incredibly powerful and only four minutes long so go check it out! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ww5Ko3byaKQ

In my personal life, I make habit of memorizing scripture regularly. I set goals every week. Some weeks it's a few random verses. Some weeks I’ll memorize sections of scripture (2 Corinthians 5:17-21*, for example, is one of my favorite “sections” that I’ve memorized). Sometimes I’ll block off a certain time period and strive to memorize entire chapters, or even a book (did 1 John this past summer!). I say this to be an encouragement to you all, not to glorify myself. This discipline has been of great profit to my walk with Jesus and my desire is to see you grow as well.

Another practical example of how this discipline along with the discipline of prayer have benefitted me is that I was struggling heavily with spiritual pride last semester and so I started to pray regularly against this and asked for prayer from many people. I also memorized 1 Corinthians 1:26-31* and began reciting that in my head to help keep me humble, and it has worked! Had I passively just hoped for healing in this area, I’d surely still be wrestling deeply with it.

If you are battling porn, memorization of this verse will behoove you greatly:

1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

4) Have accountability

I want to correct a flaw about many people’s understanding of accountability, which is that you need to have someone who calls you on the regular simply to ask you, “When was the last time you looked at porn?”

Don’t picture a purple elephant in your head.

Did you just picture a purple elephant? Probably. When you are always dwelling so much on not looking at porn, those lustful thoughts will likely stay present in your head. Now, I am not saying that they should not ask you this question at all, but here is what the questions should look like: “Have you been seeking joy in the Lord regularly? What has that looked like? Are you reading your Bible daily? What have you been reading? What has God been teaching you through this?” Find someone of the same gender who will encourage you in your faith, not just discourage you away from sin.

The second part of this accountability is that you need people praying for you. 1 John 5:16 reads, “If anyone sees his brother committing a sin not leading to death, he shall ask, and God will give him life.” Get others to pray for you in your battle against sin. It will prove to be instrumental in your deliverance.

5) Pursuing holiness and separation from the world

Or, as I phrased it earlier, “eliminating activities that dwindle your affections for God.” Observe your life. Do you listen to the music, watch the TV shows, and converse about the things that God hates? Since I decided to take care to what I expose myself to I have seen my love for God and the things of God grow exponentially. Why? Because I don’t have messages glorifying the distortion of sex, the abuse of alcohol, and the idolization of money running through my head (nearly as frequently) throughout the day. What the world deems good, God often hates.

1 John 2:15-17

¹⁵ Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. ¹⁶ For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. ¹⁷ And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

It is my desire that you are encouraged by these five practical applications and adapt these into your own life, in hope that you too will be able to understand the pleasure of knowing God in a way that you haven’t before.

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A wise man once told me, “One swipe at the root is worth 1,000 at the branches.” These five facets of making war are all focused on the root, but there still is something to be said about making war at the branches level.

In regards to porn:

In Matthew 5 when Jesus is talking about lust he says, “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away… If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.” If he were to address us now about lust I have a feeling he’d say, “If your phone causes you to sin, disable the Internet!” or something to that end. Accountability software will be of great help to eliminate the greatest avenues for access (your phone and computer). I’d recommend Covenant Eyes (covenanteyes.com) or X3watch (x3watch.com).

In regards to other sin:

If you struggle with video game addiction, get rid of them (as I spoke of earlier).

If you struggle with alcoholism, don’t drink alcohol. At all.

If you struggle with love of money, maybe you need to give more away for the sake of the Kingdom.

I could go on and on, but the idea is this: do your best to eliminate the opportunity for sin. That’s making war at the branches level. I relate this to swiping at the branches because if your resolve to sin is strong enough, you can find porn (or alcohol, etc.). It is a heart issue. I will buy someone a Bible before I’d ever buy them web blockers.

Why Does it Matter?

Much of this blog has been focused on how to defeat pornography, but I recognize that many of you may not see why this is important. I’ll tell you why this is not just important as a follower of Christ, but absolutely necessary if you want to be effective in your ministry.

God created sex to be the most intimate interaction between humans, and when used in the right context it is beautiful. In the same vein, how potent is the ruin that comes with the misuse of sex! Pornography will distort your perception of beauty and your view of what sex is meant to be like, bring innumerable problems to any romantic relationship that you try to have with someone, and will surely hinder your ability to experience any depth of intimacy with God (Isaiah 59:2*). It follows that your ministry will be affected because with a lack of spiritual intimacy with God comes a lack of spiritual effectiveness in ministry (it’s hard to tell people about the power of Jesus when you yourself are living in rejection to his power).

I beg you to consider the ramifications of this sin and let them not discourage you because of your past failures, but encourage you towards holiness in the future.

Believe

Some of you are reading this and love the idea of being free from the weight of your sin but you have absolutely no hope. You have believed the lie that your sin (pornography, alcoholism, depression, anger, or love of money, to name a few possibilities) will be with you for the rest of your life. You are utterly convinced. I am writing this as a man who was addicted to pornography for nine years and thought exactly what you’re thinking. I was sure that I was going to bring it into my marriage. But God delivered me two and a half years ago. Hallelujah. I’m praying for your chains to be broken tonight by the power of God. Believe his promise in 1 John 1:7 – “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.”

The tomb is empty. He conquered sin and death and now reigns on the throne of grace. That victory is yours if you believe.

Final Note of Encouragement

Everything I have exhorted you to do in this blog is directly contrary to the flesh. That’s not a coincidence; there is nothing easy about pursuing intimacy with God. In fact, it would be impossible to run the race with endurance if not for the help of his Holy Spirit. God dwells inside of you, if you’re a believer, and he wants intimacy with you far more than you want it with him. These two truths should be of great comfort to you.

Lastly, know that whatever it costs you to fight in this war, the reward is far greater. Jesus is worthy.

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Pray with me.

Abba, Father,

I love you, but I also love my sin. My passions are at war within me. I want to know you and serve you most of the time but too often I believe the false promises that sin offers me, and I forsake you. I can’t do this on my own. I need your help. I need look no further than the cross to know that you are for me. Do a work in me that only you can do. Give me grace to fight the good fight. Please. I pray this in faith and expectation, and in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ.

Amen.

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Verses referenced:

1 John 1:8-10

⁸ If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. ⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. ¹⁰ If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

John 14:16-17

¹⁶ And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, ¹⁷ even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.

John 8:34

Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin.

1 John 1:7

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.”

Galatians 5:1

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

1 Corinthians 1:26-31

²⁶ For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. ²⁷ But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; ²⁸ God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, ²⁹ so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. ³⁰ And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, ³¹ so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”

John 14:15

If you love me, you will keep my commandments.

2 Corinthians 5:17-21

¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. ¹⁸ All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; ¹⁹ that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. ²⁰ Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. ²¹ For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Isaiah 59:2

But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.